26 Oct 2010

I’ll never be popular (A sad tale of a Twitter Dork.)

14 Comments Personal Crap, Uncategorized

I am about as popular on Twitter as I was in high school. If you time-travel back to me in high school, you’ll realize that I was not popular. Not even a little. It seems Twitter utilizes the same kind of social tests that were used back in the 80’s to make my life a living hell. I keep failing. Except this time it’s not because I have a big nose. Well, that’s not the ONLY reason at least.

Twitter is literally set up to make people like me feel terrible about themselves. The whole goal is to get as many followers as possible, and I’ve never been able to get followers in LIFE, let alone the world wide web of social disgrace.

First of all, when I first logged on I stupidly asked a hilarious woman who had her twitter shit together if she could help me get followers. I had no idea that was a “no no” because I had no idea how much work it actually is to get people to follow you.  I’m sure she was like, “Up yours, Lady! I worked my ass off to get my 35,000 followers and now YOU want me to help YOU when you’ve only been here for three freaking days??” Of course, as soon as I realized my idiotic mistake I tried to make up for it, but she has alienated me ever since. I guess I understand.

Then I’m supposed to craft the perfect “tweets” to get people to respond and follow me and love me. And I rarely do, because I’m a dork. As usual, I have no idea how to be one of the popular chicks because I’ve never been one of the cheerleaders or on student council. I’m a drama geek and only the very few people who “get” me are on my side. And, seriously… The fact that I’m whining about TWITTER is EMBARRASSING!!  A month ago I didn’t even want to know what Twitter was! I had no desire to be a part of it. But as soon as I started, I wanted to be liked. Because that, my friends, is human nature. And as much as I really don’t care if someone doesn’t like me, I care about these faceless, random Twitter people. That is pure insanity.

So, should I try to be one of the popular hot girls? Should I stick with it and figure out the ways of the Twitterverse? Should I start dressing differently and put on lipstick and high heels to get the boys (and girls) to notice me? Should I take hip-hop lessons so I can learn the dance-team cheers? Should I get contact lenses so I can lose the glasses? Should I put out? You see where I’m going here, I’m sure. Do I fight for my Twitter popularity or do I just give up? Do I stay and hang out in the corner with my loyal, awesome friends who like me for ME? Or should I log out and move on with my life?

Tweet me and let me know what you think. HA! See what I did there?

I wrote this post earlier today and here is a side note:

Today a hot, popular guy tweeted that his followers should follow me. It was a classic “super hot, popular jock who also happens to be INSANELY SWEET feels bad for the dorky girl he cares about” move. It got me 25 followers, which is a 10% jump in under 12 hours. But I just know they’re all talking behind my back, wondering what’s “so great” about me and why the hot guy is my friend. One of them probably even thinks I slept with him. Well, I DIDN’T! I just helped him write his essay about “Catcher in the Rye”.

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Lisa Arch likes being a working actress... but LOVES being a Mom!
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14 Responses to “I’ll never be popular (A sad tale of a Twitter Dork.)”

  1. Reply Ange says:


    I understand where u come from… But honestly I find Twitter to be an up to date thing on what’s happening around cos i don’t buy magazines or whatever…

    But if u were to ask me directly I’d say leave it u never know
    I think that’s it’s NOT about what you look like…. Sometimes i think a whole bunch of teeny boppers that come on here aged 14-20 etc and follow people and that’s how other people get numbers…

    Chin up… Ur blogs are awesome And ur tweets there not boring as he’ll as others are

    Well anyways if that makes sense awesome if not sorry I tried:D
    Ur cool I am interested in more ur tweets cos u tweet back:)
    Thanks and keep up the good work hey:)


    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Thanks! I know it’s not about looks, I was kidding about that. And truthfully, this post was just to mouth off even though I am a tad bugged by the whole thing. You’re very kind! Glad you follow me!

  2. Reply Sherry says:

    I would say I know how you feel, but I don’t get it. I love your posts. I think your super funny and have made me smile and laugh on many occasions! I wouldn’t change a thing! I hardly have any followers, but I’m ok with that. Popularity is overrated! I love reading your posts, so please keep being you! 🙂

  3. Reply YvioivY says:

    Hi Lisa!

    Followers come and go… Some are genuine tweeters, spammers/scammers and there’s even ‘ghost-tweeters’ where they don’t tweet a single thing!

    Don’t EVER change into something you’re not just because of ‘tweessure’… There are cliques everywhere! You just need time and the ‘right’ followers will come along. Better quality than quantity right?

    Anyway, yea I did follow you initially because of that hot popular guy-friend of yours but I remained as a follower simply because you tweet funny stuff! 🙂

    Keep on tweeting and I’ll be reading… ♥

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Yes, quality over quantity always! You are a sweetheart! All my twitter friends making me feel cool.
      I’m a lucky gal. 🙂

  4. Reply AL says:

    Twitter Smitter. They don’t know what they are missing, but we do!

  5. Reply Megan says:

    I for one *love* your tweets b/c they remind me to check your blog which is HILarious!!

    Keep it up!

  6. Reply Laura says:

    Just think of your Twitter followers as a small elite group of people with awesome taste! 🙂

  7. Reply sarah hawkins says:

    I am a follower of you in general… I love you!!!!!

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