Archive for November 3rd, 2010

03 Nov 2010

The Littlest Bully

14 Comments Toddler

There’s a kid in Garrett’s class who makes at least one kid cry every day. It usually happens in the 15 minutes I’m there, at school, dropping Garrett off. These are pre-schoolers, mind you. And every, single day this kid is making someone cry. He hits, he kicks, he trips them, he takes their toys, he knocks down their blocks, he grabs books. Is this the beginning of a bully? Is this how it starts? Is it something that can be fixed now, if it’s dealt with the right way?

I see his teachers tell the crying ones to “use their words”, to tell this kid that they don’t like the way they’re being treated. “Don’t hit my body!”, they say. That’s a good start I guess, but shouldn’t something be done about this kid? Is there a way to deal with him, with his parents, that could improve his behavior and nip this in the bud? I’m sure he’d be a pretty sweet kid if he could only change this one part about himself. And should the teachers be allowed to do more? To punish him?

It’s possible there’s something clinically wrong. He might not be able to control these things. But that should be looked into also. I fear that if it’s not taken care of, he’s just going to turn into a monster. He’ll be the kid no one likes because he’s mean and so he’ll be all alone and that will just make him meaner. Right? Doesn’t that seem like the way it’ll happen?

So, I guess my question is what can be done? I feel like it’s partially my responsibility, as a parent who sees this happening daily, to intervene. If this child is causing a disruption every day, he’s affecting every other child’s experience there. And, believe me, I think it’s okay for these kids to deal with some adversity. But that isn’t the point. The point is, it seems like now is a good time to try to change this kid’s path, to figure out what is wrong with him so it can be worked on. It’s not only the right thing to do for all the kids he comes in contact with, it’s the right thing to do for him. ¬†Otherwise I foresee a sad, friendless future for this boy.

Oh, and I’m not gonna lie. The one day I was there when he made Garrett cry, I wanted to stand over him and yell obscenities. Instead, I let the teachers help Garrett “use his words”. It was all fine after about five minutes, but if it keeps happening I’m going to give Garrett a few “choice” words to “use” next time. And I’ll give him a cupcake if he uses them correctly.

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