12 Nov 2010


5 Comments Personal Crap

I think women are cool. Wait, let me try that again. Women are so awesome! Ahem. Women. Whoo! They are the BEST!

Okay, I’m not gonna lie. This whole “liking women” thing is relatively new for me. We’re talking about 10 or 12 years now. Before that? Me no likey women. Me no likey women at all! There were some women I liked, of course. My mom seemed okay. I had a few girlfriends I adored. But, for the most part, I thought chicks were lame. I’ve always surrounded myself with boys, and I still do that a lot. But before, when I didn’t like women, I had a pack o’ boys around me all the time to protect me from them.

Looking back I’m now fully, and sadly, aware of why I was so opposed to getting to know womenfolk. Deep breath here. I didn’t like myself.  I really, really did not like who I was and so I didn’t like seeing that in other women. I also felt very insecure, jealous, and uncomfortable around girls who were too much like me, or funnier than me, or prettier than me, or skinnier than me, or more feminine than me, or more successful than me… Are you seeing any kind of pattern? So I would instantly pass judgement on any female I met. “I don’t like that girl. She’s so… Blah blah blah”, fill in the blank with whatever I thought was too awesome about her.

I guess about 10 or 12 years ago, I started liking who I was a little more, and so I started seeing the good in other women. And then I really started getting it. Oh my GOD! Women are incredible! Look at them! They’re beautiful. They’re funny and smart and, wait a minute here, they’re very nurturing and they’re good listeners and they’re so unbelievably supportive! Look at them cook! Look at them take care of others. Look at them sip their wine or coffee or sparkling water with their legs crossed at a little cafe and laugh or cry or just commiserate!

Then I realized that I was seeing all this good stuff in myself and it was making me see it even more clearly in these other women, and it all made so much sense. I’m so very sad for the girl who didn’t like other girls because she was so insecure and self-loathing. I’m sad for the friendships I missed out on because I was judging so harshly. But I am so very, very happy for the woman I have become who sees the absolute, pure magic in other women. I really never thought I’d be that person. And I hope and pray that I continue to meet more and more of these fantastic creatures and that I get to share with them and hear their stories because, you know what?


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Lisa Arch likes being a working actress... but LOVES being a Mom!
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5 Responses to “Women”

  1. Reply Sherry says:

    It’s easier to see the good in others when we can see the good in ourselves. It’s not always easy though and I think it’s something that happens when we get older. So glad you see how wonderful you are. 🙂

  2. Reply Ange says:

    Well good post… Hey u live and learn right? Man I need a beating cos I can be very much observant… Oh well were girls .. We can b like that 🙂 hehe…

  3. Reply AL says:

    I’ve never been good at being a woman, at least what I percieved as being a woman, at least, while growing up. I would have much preferred to have been born a boy. The advantages were infinite; the advantages of outside toileting were nothing short of brilliant!…..the only drawback I could see was having to be the “breadwinner” and being the fighers of wars….although even that appealed to my “Tomboy” personality. Growing up, I had girfriends, but my closest buddies were all boys and I loved being part of that exclusive group. Even in high school I found the girls “silly” and thier crushes and weeping over boyfriends, ridiculous! ( It was years later I finally found a boy worth my tears, and then it was more anger at myself, allowing someone to affect my emotions).

    It wasn’t until I was grown and in many ways, alone, that I realized what an important influence women had on who I had become. Historically, women have shown to be the super glue of the world and I think, if women, specifically women, were in charge, wars would be no more! It is our children, born of our bodies who should NEVER made political fodder for resolving conflicts about religion, land or commodities! Just saying.

  4. Reply Norma Lamothe says:

    I never had any friends in school. Never thought about why Until I read this.

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