23 Nov 2010

Mr. Sandman

5 Comments Toddler

Growing up, I was very attached to my parents and so I was never thrilled when they left us with a babysitter. (Except for the period of time when our sitter was an extremely handsome guy who lived down the street.) Whenever our folks went out, which was pretty much every weekend, they would promise to wake me up when they got home so I’d know they got back safely. They’d always give me a kiss and tell me they were home and that they loved me. That was pretty fantastic, and made me feel very secure.

The whole babysitter thing is new to us around here, because for almost the entire first three years of G’s life, we took him everywhere with us or had our friends come to our house. Our friends have been beyond generous with their acceptance of our son and they’ve made us feel like he’s always welcome. But it was time for us to start doing some things with just adults, and allowing ourselves to stay out later.

So tonight our sitter came, this was her second time here, and G seemed a little perturbed, but not extremely upset. When we left, he gave us huge hugs and told us he’d miss us. We got in the car and drove away and we were half way down our street when my phone rang. “I miss you, Mommy!” I told him we missed him, too. “Are you just going to do work and then you’ll be home?” I told him we were actually going to dinner and we’d be home after he was asleep. “But I miss you!” I told him we’d come kiss him goodnight when we got home. “You’ll tiptoe into my room?” I told him we would. After several “I love you”s we finally hung up. I took a deep breath.

When we were just sitting down for dinner with our friends, my phone rang again. It was 7:30, so he was getting ready for bed. This time when I picked up the phone he was sobbing. “MOMMY! I MISS YOU!” I stepped away from the table. “I miss you too, honey.” He asked when we’d be home. I told him after he was asleep. He was crying so hard, but trying even harder not to upset me. Classic Garrett. We rarely hear him this worked up. He was doing that hard cry where the breaths are so big and each word is a struggle to say. “I just miss you and I want to hug you”, he said. I said, “When we get home, do you want us to wake you up and I’ll rock you for a little bit?” He said yes through huge sobs. “Will that make you feel better?” Yes again through bigger sobs. I told him I love him so much and he said goodbye. ┬áDeep breath.

I knew he’d be okay so I allowed myself to have a fantastic time with fantastic friends over fantastic food and wine.

We got home at 11:30, paid the sitter, (GOOD LORD, THEY’RE EXPENSIVE), and walked back to his room. Russ picked him up and held him. He was sound asleep. “Buddy”, he said, “Do you want Mom to rock you?” Garrett nodded, still asleep. So I held him, rocked him, stroked his hair and kissed his forehead. “I love you so much, buddy”, I whispered. “Do you want to get back into bed?” He nodded again, eyes still closed.

I’m not sure if he’ll consciously remember any of that, but we never tell Garrett we’re going to do something without completely following through. And it was just as comforting for me as it was meant to be for him.

It’s officially my birthday. Russ will let me sleep in tomorrow (actually today) morning. But I can’t think of a better way to start my birthday than by looking into that kid’s face. I’ll make Russ promise to wake me up before they leave for school so Garrett can tell me he loves me and kiss my forehead.

written by
Lisa Arch likes being a working actress... but LOVES being a Mom!

5 Responses to “Mr. Sandman”

  1. Reply Ange says:

    How freaking cute is that…man ur kid sons like such a adorable one…luv ur post seriously I think if u wrote a book I would so by 1000 copies… I was reading other post by diff people it was some website SUCH crap…. Like boring…I was thinking seriously

  2. Reply Marinergirl says:

    You are an awesome REAL mom!! I truly enjoy your blog!!!! Happy Birthday!!!!!

  3. Reply AL says:

    You get full credit for not ending your evening early! AND, G gets extra gold stars for handling the seperation with some dramatic flair…we wouldn’t want to think he didn’t care, one way or another?!? Bless all three of your hearts!

  4. Reply Tina says:

    Oh that was so sweet and touching. I cringed for you. It is sooo hard. Oh but you are so sweet, what a lovely mommy to rock him. Have you read Love You Forever by Robert Munsch? It is a wonderful kid’s book, this lil tale reminded me of it.
    Can I also say – OMG YES – to the sitter sticker shock. Holy crap it’s expensive to hire stable, sane, non-baby shaking folks.
    Loved this post. Hope you had a GREAT B-Day.
    Tina aka Three In The Bed

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Thanks, Tina!! Yeah, It’s seriously like taking out a second mortgage to go out to dinner. I guess that’s why we went so long without getting a sitter. Our friends are SAINTS for letting us bring him along for so long! We’re the only ones of our group with kids, so it worked for a while. They love him. But I think it was time to have some adult nights. I saw that book at Target, my friend had told me about it. I couldn’t buy it because it made me too sad! You rule.

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