13 Dec 2010

Random Tears

10 Comments Personal Crap

This morning I was watching TV and a commercial came on that was all Christmasy and snowy and happy. It was a ย clothing ad, I think. I started bawling. BAWLING! Out of the blue, I was sitting on the couch, my face in my hands, sobbing.

Now, sometimes a woman just has to cry. I always refer to Holly Hunter in “Broadcast News”, where she has to unplug the phone and inexplicably sob for just a minute, before she starts her day. That happens sometimes. Other times, there are reasons behind the tears. But they’re not always easy to decipher.

Today when I was crying, I tried to figure out why as it was happening. Here’s what I came up with:

1. I’m really sick this morning. Sore throat, headache, achey, exhausted. So, I’m naturally more vulnerable and apt to cry. I also feel awful that, since yesterday afternoon, I’ve been unavailable for Garrett because of how I feel. I hate that.

2. The visuals of the holidays in the commercial immediately made me think of how hard it is when you’re older to live up to the beauty of the holidays from your childhood. Then I thought about how much I want Christmas to be an incredibly magical time for G-man, and how I hope his life is beautiful and magical even as he grows up.

3. I thought about how weepy I am from just having a sore throat and how parents who are actually very ill must feel when they can’t participate in their child’s life. I pray to God I never know what that’s like.

4. I then thought about what happens when a child gets ill. This thought is always so sickening, so painful, that I immediately shoo it from my brain. I pray to God we never know that pain.

5. My head then went to my cousin who has throat cancer and is fighting for his life right now. I know he feels helpless and I hate that for him.

6. Then I thought about how lucky I am, and how lucky we are as a family. And how I never want to lose sight of how blessed we are, now, at this moment. And that it’s the moments that matter.

Yup. All of that went through my head in a matter of minutes. And then I pulled it together and went to the doctor. Women are weird, man. I don’t know how we get through a day, really. Come to think of it, we probably wouldn’t if it wasn’t for all the random crying.

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Lisa Arch likes being a working actress... but LOVES being a Mom!
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10 Responses to “Random Tears”

  1. Reply Julie says:

    I cry, too. I noticed I cried more often when I fell in love than I ever did before. Maybe it was the idea my heart opened, to everyone and everything. I’ve heard it said that being a mother means you walk around with your heart on the outside of your body, in other words, it travels with your child.

    Ze crying. It’s embarrassing. Mostly, though, it makes me understand what depth of feeling there is in others when they cry.

    We went to a public memorial service for a beloved local figure on Saturday afternoon. The guy’s co-worker was trying to eulogize him, and burst into tears in the middle of his comments. The most touching part of the memorial to me was the four former pro baseball players who walked to the platform, wrapped their arms around him, and cried along with him.

    Now that i’ve said all that stuff, we have a dog because I could not take the damn Pedigree commercials. They still make me cry.

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Thank you for my second cry of the day. I love what you said about falling in love. Couldn’t be more true,with a spouse and a child. And yes, since becoming a mom, my heart is outside my body. Painful and beautiful.
      That memorial service moment sounds like everything that is good about people was right up on that pulpit. Wow.
      And dogs? FORGET ABOUT IT! Pure love. Bogie usually sits by me when I cry. Today he just stared at me from across the room. Maybe he was thinking, “Again”??

  2. Reply Sherry says:

    They say you need to cry to clear away the sad and to make room for the good! My heart goes out to you and your family. I will pray for your cousin and hope he wins his fight! I will cherish what I have now and cry when I need to.
    I hope you start to feel better soon! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Thanks, Sherry! Yes, crying clears out the sad. And sometimes I cry because I’m so damn happy!! It’s hard to tell the difference! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. Reply Ange says:

    Men are lucky they Dont get their periods nor period pain nor being sensitive every damn month nor do they cry I think… They suck it up
    As what I’m trying to say we is where human and we have to let them roll out… I cry once every 6 months I’m madeof steal!!!! No but bit more… I cried for my self having to undergo surgery to look different and it felt
    good but weird huh…. But ur ok it does u good I hear…. I don’t know I’m even makingsense!??

  4. Reply @AnEffingLegend (Pat) says:

    I always cry at those ASPCA commercials. Especially the one with Sarah McLachlan with “Angel” playing in the background while they show the pictures of the abused puppies and kitties. That one makes me bury my face in a pillow.

    Also when I see those starving kid commercials and they’re actually crying. I can’t take a sad kid! I just want to hold and rock them all and kiss their little heads.

    I’m a sucker for sweetness. So, I’m a movie crier too. And of course sad things. And when people I love are in any aspect of pain because I love HARD.

    You’re not crazy, but I take pills. ๐Ÿ˜‰ LOL

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      PILLS! That’s what I should look into. Yeah, commercials, movies, random cute things that happen when I’m out and about, homeless people, homeless people’s dogs… I could go on and on.

  5. Reply Laura says:

    What makes me cry? Let’s see: Movies, songs, births, deaths, weddings, funerals, the beauty of nature, seeing loved ones after time spent apart, graduations, commercials, anger, sadness, happiness, goodbyes….. Just about anything at any given time.

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