22 Feb 2011

Come on… It’s not THAT great here!

10 Comments Family, Toddler

My son does not want to sleep somewhere else. Period. Sorry. Ain’t happening. To be completely honest, he doesn’t even love being home if Russ and I aren’t here. But he does a pretty good job. Sleeping elsewhere however… Nope.

This puts Russ and I in the position of never being able to stay out very late or go away for a night (GOD FORBID) without feeling incredibly guilty OR caving in and bringing Garrett home.

So what do we do?

Saturday night we had a party to go to, so Garrett went to his cousins’ house to SLEEP OVER. He had a blast, ate a huge dinner, played the night away… But would not even entertain the notion of falling asleep at their house. By 10:45, 10:45 people!, he was still nowhere near the big zzzzzz. As a matter of fact, he was trying to get the entire family to do aerobics. Don’t ask.

So, we did what we’ve done once or twice in the past. We picked him up on the way home. Here’s the problem. I don’t want to FORCE him into doing something he’s not comfortable with and I don’t want to force my bro and sis-in-law to be the bad guys who make him sleep over. What, oh what, is the solution?

If you have any past experience with this, I’d love to hear your insight. One of my ideas is to make it way less desirable to sleep at home. You know, play loud 80’s hair band music right outside his door, give him lumpy pillows and take away all his blankets. And send him to bed without dessert. I mean, that’d make ANYWHERE else seem dreamy, right? Right???

Aw, poop.

written by
Lisa Arch likes being a working actress... but LOVES being a Mom!

10 Responses to “Come on… It’s not THAT great here!”

  1. Reply Elizabeth says:

    I don’t think i’ll be much help. Eli’s had sleepovers at Nana & Papa’s since he was 6 months old so now he asks for them. But…he’s never slept anywhere else except there (or with us at a hotel). I, however, never used to sleep any where else but my house. They tried sleepovers elsewhere when I was G’s age, but they always got calls to pick me up. I even remember not being happy at grade schools sleep overs. He may just not like it.

    Sorry. I know how nice it is to have those few nights alone…

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      I hear you, Elizabeth. He does GREAT with us at hotels because we’ve been doing that since he was super little. He’ll even sleep at a friend’s house if we’re there with him. But we didn’t start the sleepover thing early enough and now I fear we’re screwed.
      Unfortunately, we’re going to have to force the issue soon so we can go a way for a couple of nights. He’ll be fine. Right?

  2. Reply Christine says:

    Kate has had a total of four sleepovers. The first was when she was seven and it was by necessity because I had a 5am surgery. The second was when my friend’s dad in law died and I went to stay with her and help with her kids so Kate came and stayed too. The third was spontaneous so there was no anxiety and the fourth was a birthday sleepover party so she stayed because she’d have been embarassed not to.

    But she’s never stayed at either of her grandparents and Bill and I have never been away overnight without her. In fact, until she was five, we co-slept, so the transition to her own room, only steps away from ours, was huge and a tremendous accomplishment. And, until she was almost four, we went nowhere without her. No dinners out, no date nights, nothing. For four years. So I guess I have no good advice.

    Kate is almost 11 now, and sleepovers are still a rarity at other houses. She loves for her friends to sleepover at our house. And she prefers playdates to be here, too. Not that she’d ever admit that she loves me, misses me and enjoys my company. But I know she does, so it’s all good. I’d rather have a kid who wants to be home than a kid who doesn’t.

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Christine, YOU ARE NO HELP AT ALL!! 😉
      Yes, I agree that I’d rather G want to be here than not. Believe me!! But I want him to like going elsewhere, too. Or at least tolerate it. Yeah, tolerate is enough. God, I love that kid.

      • Reply Christine says:

        OK, OK, let me try again. I’ll be helpful this time!

        I think that if YOU are comfortable with his staying elsewhere, that he will pick up on your calm energy and will be fine with it.

        I, on the other hand, am clearly uncomfortable with my daughter sleeping out. Whenever the word sleepover is mentioned, I am the mom who says, with tears in my eyes and my daughter clutched against me, “You don’t really want to sleepover your friend’s house, do you? DO YOU? Of course you don’t, now come home with Mommy where you belong.”

        So, keep on encouraging him and reassuring him that he’s going to have the BEST TIME EVER at his sleepovers. Don’t show him any anxiety and be absolutely sure that he will sleep beautifully. Also, keep in mind that while he is gone you will have THE BEST SEX EVER and that will help you to stay calm and focused so everyone will enjoy looking forward to sleepovers 😉

        • Reply flawlessmom says:

          Christine. You’re ALWAYS helpful, even when you’re NOT, strictly because you comment here and I love hearing from you. I hear what you’re saying about YOU being the one who doesn’t want her to go. I feel the same, but I do (as you’re suggesting) try to instill that independence in him. I think it’s good for all of us to have some separation SOMETIMES. We’re like you guys where it’s very rare. But, as I said, I’m thankful for that, too. Did any of that make sense? I hope so. I’m tired.

  3. Reply Tracy K says:

    Does G have a “bedtime routine”? That seems to help B sleep at my brother’s house. It’s like he knows bath, story, sip of milk, sleep. So, wherever he is, it usually works.

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Tracy, that’s a good idea. He definitely has one here, and they try to put it into practice at Bob’s but it doesn’t seem to work out too well! I think we’re all just not trying hard enough!!

  4. Reply Angela says:

    My nephews are like 3 and 6… 6 years old had prob sleeping here everytime my sister dropped him off.. During the day he loved it.. But at night “I want mummy” now I told him I will call mummy after 5minutes u close it eyes… He closed them and out like a light!!!!!! He woke up next morning… Hey u didn’t call mum did u? Nope buddy I didn’t!!!

    Now the 3 year old has problems now… Last wk 11pm the only thing I did waked him in my bed… He watched toy story and started snoring… When buz and woody are at the pizza planet! Oh yes I remember i was frigen tired!!!

    but in this instance less desirable at home… Hmm no idea u guys seem a heap of fun for him wanting to be gone for the night. I was like that as a kid… Dude I didn’t grow out of it till I was like 10!!! I KNOW CRAZY!!!!! g is smarter than me by the sounds of things so not long don’t worry 🙂 hehehe

  5. Reply Angela says:

    FYI – ur post r makin me late for work… Thanks Lisa there frigen addictive 🙂 ange

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