07 Mar 2011

Date Night, 13 years in.

9 Comments Personal Crap

Russ and I had a date Friday night. Dinner, Bed Bath & Beyond, and coffee & dessert. Yes, I squeezed in an errand. I made up for it with afternoon sex. It’s okay, Mom. We’re married!!

We had a great time together, as usual. Although not quite as exciting and sexy as it could have been. I blame that on the errand.

I realized something on the way home. The entire evening was spent talking about projects we’re currently working on, or would like to start, people in our family, some friends, Garrett (of course) sprinkled in every five or ten minutes, and then stuff about what’s going on in the world, pop culture, and Steve Jobs.

The beginning of our relationship, namely the first two years, were spent with us sharing the stories of who we were, where we came from, and how we got here. We talked about our childhoods, our families, the friends we had growing up. We talked about our elementary school teachers, how we got our scars (physical and emotional), and what our first kisses were like. We revealed things about ourselves with great excitement and learned things about each other with great interest.

We doled out juicy bits of information like they were jelly beans given for doing a good job on the potty. We had great sex followed my more conversation about whether or not we wore designer clothes to school or enjoyed history class. We shared stories about the drunkest we had ever been and the drunkest our friends had ever been. We caught up on each other’s lives up unti the time we met.

Now we’re all caught up and so we talk about… Everything else. It’s nice that we know each other’s stuff. And I love that we have interesting conversations about other stuff now. But every so often I miss those first months and years, when I found out all about his Pre-Lisa life and he found out about my life Before Russ.

One time, about two-and-a-half-years ago on a road trip to Oregon, Russ and I quizzed each other about our lives while Garrett slept in his car seat. It was a blast and a great way to make the time go faster. He knew the answer to EVERY SINGLE QUESTION I asked him about myself, no matter how obscure, ย and proved that he’s a great listener and has a much larger brain capacity than I do. I got about 50% right about him. But remember, I gave birth. And it’s a scientific fact that half of your brain comes out with the placenta.

The truth is, we do still have things to learn about each other, and I even enjoy hearing and telling stories we already know. He’s my best friend. And now we have a story we’ve created together with an incredible child who is not only a part of, but proof of that story. I can talk about almost anything with my husband and enjoy it. But for our next date I might consider pretending it’s those first two years, and thinking of questions I want to ask the new guy in my life. Maybe I’ll learn something I didn’t know. Like what his favorite section is at Bed Bath & Beyond.

written by
Lisa Arch likes being a working actress... but LOVES being a Mom!

9 Responses to “Date Night, 13 years in.”

  1. Reply Koch says:

    Steve Jobs!

    You know, it occurred to me as I was reading: You NEVER see romantic comedies about exhausted, funny parents in their late 30’s/early 40’s trying to keep things sexy and alive and loving and new and fresh and fun. Not ever. Was “Date Night” that? I still haven’t see it. But incorporating a jaunt to Bed, Bath & Beyond in the script whilst on a date night is a MUST (“We HAVE to stop there because my discount turns into pumpkin paper at midnight!”). And the scenes where you quiz each other.

    I bet you and Russ could write a GREAT romantic comedy about that. Box office gold. Just please (if you’re more than just screenwriters on the project) cast me as one of the weird, pain-in-the-ass friends you sometimes talk about (not that you guys talk about me, just if I’m right for the role…).

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Koch, we already wrote it. And you already starred in it! You’re famous and I’m rich! But then we moved to Paris because we couldn’t take it here anymore, so I haven’t seen you in months. How are you? Paris is great! I’m eating a ton of bread and cheese!

  2. Reply Camesha says:

    I saw the words Date Night and thought -what’s that? HA! Sad. ๐Ÿ™‚ I hear you though – there’s definitely something to be said for the comfort of knowing each other so well. But I do sometimes miss those first few months when my husband and I were so giddy.

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Camesha, yes, I too miss the giddiness. But I guess it gets replaced with a lot of other good stuff. And luckily, my hubs is good at making me giggle so much it feels a lot like giddiness!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. Reply Robbie says:

    Koch, that IS what the movie “Date Night” is about! With a lot of wacky thrown in, of course.

Leave a Reply