03 May 2011

Truth

14 Comments Personal Crap, Toddler

I spend a lot of time talking and writing about how joyous all of my moments are and how much I love, ABSOLUTELY LOVE, being a mommy.

It’s all true. Every word.

And so is this:

I’ve been back to work lately and I’m tired. I’m always tired but now I’m more tired than usual.

Garrett has been waking up at 6:00 again.

Waking up at 6:00 today sucked. It sucked really hard. I was exhausted and impatient and bitchy.

When G wanted me to change the color of his shorts on Wii Sports I told him I couldn’t do it. When he told me Daddy did it yesterday I told him he was mistaken. And I kind of shouted a little. When I finally listened and went to the menu and changed his color to red… I apologized for shouting. And he said, “That’s okay, Mommy!”

The rest of the morning went smoothly, but I was definitely shorter than usual with him, less patient, and less engaged. I hate those kinds of mornings. But they do remind me that I can’t be perfect. I’m human and he’s going to see that more and more as he grows up.

I will always do my best to be the best Mom I can be. But some mornings, that mom ain’t too great.

On the way to school we talked and laughed. When we got to class he asked how many errands I was doing today. I said four. He said, “How about three?” I told him I’d figure out which one I could cut out and that I’d see him after nap. The teachers, G and I shared a giggle. Then I went directly to Trader Joes and felt a bit accomplished.

When I pick him up in a few hours, I will take deep breaths. I will hug him and play and get him a snack. I will do my best. But every day can’t be as perfect as I want it to be. And I guess that’s a good thing, because it makes me appreciate all the perfect days even more.

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UPDATE:

On my way to my 3rd errand, after lunch with my brother, I turned the car around and came home. Had I continued on to Target, I would’ve brought home my groceries and been done putting them away just in time to pick G up from school… And I would’ve still been exhausted.

So, I came home and slept for an hour and a half instead.

When I picked G up, he ran to me and gave me a huge hug. And, because I was rested, I reciprocated by picking him up and hugging him hard. We hung out for ten minutes and then he came with me to Target. We had a blast. He helped me get the things we needed, and even reminded me where we parked.

The point is, I think we moms tend to try to do everything all the time. And that often results in us starting to do things poorly, or at least having way less fun doing them. But taking 90 minutes for myself today, instead of making sure I crammed everything in, made the rest of my day (and probably my family’s) much better.

Now, making dinner sounds a whole lot less daunting, too! Whether or not that’s good for my family is a whole other discussion. 😉

written by
Lisa Arch likes being a working actress... but LOVES being a Mom!

14 Responses to “Truth”

  1. Reply Meredith says:

    Lisa, my daughter is almost 15 and I seem to work more now probably when she needs me more and I find myself being a bit more snappy too but hey we arent perfect we habe to do our best as long as the perfect days out weigh the less than perfect daus then I guess we are all safe. Keep up the great work

  2. Reply Sherry says:

    As you said, you’re only human! Lack of sleep can be devastating, so do what you can to get through it. G doesn’t need or want a perfect mom. He wants you! Lots of hugs help 🙂

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Well, if he DID want a perfect mom, Sherry… He’s barking up the wrong tree! But my love for him is perfect. So, that’s pretty cool. 🙂

  3. Reply Sara says:

    A woman on the elevator at work today said to her approximately 3-year-old “I will give you five dollars if you stop talking until we get to the appointment.” The little girl (who had clearly been going non-stop for a while took a deep breath and said (at the top of her lungs). “No dice mama. I really like talking.” I considered offering the mom a break. I think it is good to admit when you are short on resources. Hopefully the time off during school helped.

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      THAT is HILARIOUS, Sara!! I love it! My mother-in-law used to offer my husband a dollar to be quiet on long car trips. I think he also never took the offer. Yes, today I was short on resources for sure. Turns out, though… I didn’t NEED to do so much! I took a break and it made all the difference in the world!!

  4. Reply Carla says:

    I hope you took a few minutes out for yourself this afternoon. It can be stressful when we do not get our sleep, and all G knows is your his mom and you love him. We all have those days! I get to be at work by 5 am, and if I dont get my sleep, AND coffee, I can be draggy, and I feel like I am letting my team down. Hugs and snacks are great for stress too:)

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      OMG, Carla! 5AM! When I work it’s usually around 6:30 and THAT is nuts enough for me!! Well, I ended up taking a nap and changing my whole day. Had enough energy to finish errands, and even cook dinner and clean a bit! G and I had fun together and it all felt so much better. Thank you for the advice. I made sure to get a couple extra hugs today!!

  5. Reply Melisa says:

    WOW. Good for you! I wish I did that more often.
    I’m so glad you prioritized, to make the rest of the day better for everyone involved. 🙂

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Thanks, Melisa. I think I’ll nap for the three weeks leading up to BlogHer. You know… So I can stay awake for the L-Room Bubble Party!!!!

  6. Reply elaine (ekim) says:

    Love you, Lisa….. and i loved reading that entry. where were you when my kids were toddling around while I was at my wit’s end?? now they just look down at me and pat me on the head. your words are so real and encouraging! thank you!!!!! :o)

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Thanks, Elaine!! I love hearing from you! And that makes me feel great. Thanks for the laugh, too. I can’t believe you have GROWN UPS walking around your house!!

  7. Reply Cam Bibs&Baubles says:

    ALL very true. My mom keeps reminding me that I have to take care of myself in order to take care of my family. If mama’s not good…nobody’s good!

  8. Reply Angela says:

    It’s ok Lisa I hate mornings also.
    and it’s understandable feeling tired but that one and half hour nap must’ve been great I luv those naps I miss not being able to do that. Damn work!
    Hope ur dinner was great;)

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