Archive for May 20th, 2011

20 May 2011

Cool Kids

4 Comments Personal Crap

I always wonder what it’s like to be one of the “cool kids”. I’ve always wondered. Those people who seem to be super-comfortable in their skin, who have cool hair-cuts, and know exactly how to dress. The ones who can pull off the giant tattoos across their backs, and even make the small ankle tattoos look good. What is that like?

I’ve never been cool. Honest. Sometimes people assume I am because I’m on TV. But then they meet me and immediately know the truth.

I try to be cool sometimes. I say, “YEAH! Let’s totally go out for drinks! We might need to get a cab home, though!” Then I have three quarters of a glass of Cabernet and try not to fall asleep in my salad.

I act like I know my designer jeans and shoes. I don’t.

And I don’t even try to pretend to know the hip places to eat, or which new club has popped up somewhere.

I’m not cool.

And so, just like a pimple-faced teen wonders what it’s like to be a Playboy Playmate, I wonder what it’s like to be cool.

Do they know they’re cool?

Do they look in the mirror and think, “Yeah. I totally rock.”

Do they force their kids to be cool, or are they just naturally cool because “cool” is genetic?

You know the kids I’m referring to. The ones with the faux hawks, or the real hawks, or the hair that’s so long, you can’t quite put your finger on what sex they are. They’re the ones with the awesome shoes. Not the ones that light-up when they stomp. The ones that don’t.

The cool women resist bad sweat pants. They lose their baby weight immediately, or manage to dress awesomely for their new bodies. They don’t ever talk in stressed-out high-pitched voices. They’re calm. They’re good photographers. They buy their furniture at thrift stores, or they at least make it look like they do.

They went through a drug period, or they completely resisted drugs because their parents had a problem. If they laugh at your joke, it’s because it’s really funny. Otherwise, they’re not going to exert the energy. They never act like something’s a “big deal”. ¬†Everything just… Is.

Do these cool people cry about their kids growing up too fast? ¬†Do they ever trip walking off a curb? Do they buy too many vegetables at the supermarket and end up throwing out half of them? Do they ever buy their kids’ clothes at Target or Nordstrom Rack? Do they eat high-fiber cereal?

I’m thinking about becoming the Jane Goodall of cool people. I’ll just slowly infiltrate their lives until they accept me as one of their own. Then I’ll take copious notes and glean all I can about their way of life. And, I won’t just be doing it for me. I’ll be doing it for anyone who isn’t cool and all of the future generations. I think it’s time I learn about these creatures.

Now, if someone could just tell me where they hang out so I could get this project started.