18 Jun 2011

Flawless Saturday Question

16 Comments Flawless Saturday Question

Tomorrow is Father’s Day. Tell me about a dad in your life. He can be a friend, your husband, your father, an uncle… You get the idea. Help me celebrate fathers and tell me,

Who is a dad you admire, and why? Great stories are strongly encouraged!

Let me first say, I married a man who turned out to be not only a stellar husband, but a miraculous father. He is already creating memories with our son, which will stick with him always. He is beyond silly, immensely patient, always optimistic, and incredibly warm, kind, cuddly and loving. Garrett is so fortunate to have a father like Russ, and I am so lucky to get to watch their special relationship unfold. I know how lucky G is, because I was that lucky with my own father. Happy Father’s Day, Russ.

This will be my first Father’s Day without my dad. Those of you who are regular readers know how much he means to me, and what an incredible dad he was. Here’s one of my favorite and funniest memories:

We had just gotten a new dog from the pound. His name was Max and he was a mutt, mostly shepherd with some golden retriever thrown in, I think. Great dog. We knew he was for us the second we saw him. My dad tended to love the Family Dog almost as much as he loved the Family. It was one of those awesome things about him.

Now let me back track for a second. About two months before we got Max, my mom furnished her living room for the first time since my parents bought the house 14 years earlier. See, my folks kept the living room completely open for that ENTIRE time so that my brother and I could have a rehearsal space in the house. They loved having kids come over to rehearse for school festivals, drama camp scenes, and our sketch-comedy shows. Now that Bob and I were both out of school, my parents finally furnished that space.

The biggest purchase was an off-white, half-circle, silk couch that was my mom’s prize possession. When we got Max, (who she also loved dearly), she insisted that we keep him away from that couch. Her only request: “I waited 14 years to get this couch. Please don’t let that dog ruin it.”

So, it was about a week after getting Max and I had just come home from work and he clearly had to pee. I ran him to the back door, through the living room, past the couch…

He peed on the couch.

He lifted his leg and peed, right there on the side of my mom’s new, off-white, silk couch.

I stared at him, my mouth agape, my head reeling. “MAX! NOOOOOOOOO!”

Now what do I do?

I ran to the kitchen to call my dad, who worked about three miles from home at the time.


“WHAT? (deep breath) Oh my god. Okay. Is it bad?”

“It’s really bad. Right on the side coming in from the family room. It’s bad.”

“Okay. Don’t do anything. I’ll call an upholstery cleaner and I’ll be home in ten minutes.”

Ten minutes later, my dad walked in and looked at the stain.

“Oh, shit”, he said.

“I know”, I said.

And then we laughed our asses off. I think we were both so nervous about what my mom was going to do, we couldn’t help but laugh.

“You can’t ever, ever tell your mom about this. If she sees the stain, we lie. We have no idea what happened. It’s probably just an irregularity in the silk that we never noticed, okay?”


Just then the doorbell rang and the cleaner came in. He spent about an hour doing his best and when he left it was still pretty bad.

And there we were, standing next to the stain, petting Max and praying for all of our souls.

My mom noticed the stain within a month. My dad and I acted like we had always seen it, and that the couch just came that way. My mom thought something had happened, but we convinced her it was fine.

It was about 12 years later that we finally admitted what happened. Max had already passed away, so he was free. My mom couldn’t help but see the humor, because she has a great sense of it. But I know she was a little pissed. I was happy to have had that secret with my dad. Another example of how he made every crappy situation a whole lot better.

Just writing that made me laugh my ass off. God, I’m lucky to have had him as a dad.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy.

written by
Lisa Arch likes being a working actress... but LOVES being a Mom!

16 Responses to “Flawless Saturday Question”

  1. Reply Sherry says:

    That was a great memory Lisa! I don’t have a lot of specific memories of my dad. I don’t know if I blocked out a lot because he died when he and I were so young. One memory I have was when he came home from work. He was a truck driver at the time and he was gone a lot. We had very little money and a lot of kids. He had enough money to buy one hamburger and he ordered it with tons of pickles because I was and am stil a pickle fanatic. He brought it home and we cut it into 4 pieces so all us kids got a bite. That might not seem like much, but for us, it was Christmas! We had dad home and a hamburger. We were dirt poor and extremely happy :). Happy Father’s Day to Russ 🙂

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      That is so beautiful, Sherry. That says so much about how little we need to be truly happy. Love is everything. And the ability to show that love, especially to children, is the most special thing in the world.

  2. Reply Kristy says:

    Well, we’ll skip my drug addict, abusive, ex-con of a father and go straight to my husband.

    My husband rocks as a Dad! From day one he’s been right in the thick of it, diaper changes, middle of the night feedings, walking the floor, he’s been at every doc appointment and every shot. He’s sat up all night and still gone to work in the morning. He’s loving and fun, our 8 month old climbs all over him like a jungle gym. He is so sweet to her and treats her like an angel. What particularly makes all of this so special is that HIS father was a drug addicted, alcoholic, physically/verbally abusive man, so was his stepfather and so were 90% of any of the other men in his life when he was young. Yet, somehow he learned how to be a GREAT Dad, he’s never touched drugs, only drank when he was in the military out of boredom, hasn’t touched it since. Would NEVER abuse anyone, in any shape or form. He rocks!

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Sounds like you’re an extremely lucky woman, Kristy. And it sounds like your husband took bad examples and turned them upside down into exactly what he wanted to be. It also sounds like you did the opposite of what many women do. Instead of searching out someone like your dad and repeating a pattern, you found someone kind and amazing. You’re both wonderful, rare people.

  3. Reply Norma Lamothe says:

    My Dad came into my life when I was 7. He loved to fish and finally was able to buy a row boat. He took me out in the boat with him to fish. When we got back to shore I wanted to help him to get the oars and with both of us on the same side of the boat at the same time…well I am sure you get it. Boat tipped over. I was hanging on for dear life not to go into the water. He went in head first with just his feet sticking up out of the water. Mother was mad but both he and I were fine and we laughed about about it. I lost him to a bad accident in 1961 when I was 13. He was my dad for a short time but was the only dad I ever had. Still after all these years I still miss him and wish he could have met my sons. He loved baseball and know he and the boys would have gotten along beautifully. I have lots of fond memories of him. Happy fathers day Daddy.

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Very sweet, Norma. I’m so sorry you had him for such a brief time, but it’s wonderful he filled that short time with happy memories. I’m sure he knows you’re thinking of him today.

  4. Reply Tracy K says:

    I was laughing and tearing at the story. I could hear both your parent’s voices in my head. The funny part is I have a very similar story. It was shortly after my parents moved into the house they have now. I was about 15 and my best friend was spending the night with us. All of a sudden, at 2 in the morning, we heard the strangest noise. Princess, our 8 year old golden retriever, was in the living room having diarrhea all over the white carpet. The house was so new there wasn’t any furniture in there yet. My parents woke up and my dad came down to try and clean it. My mom went back to bed cursing the dog and all of us (we were laughing hysterically). After trying to get out the two foot black puddle, which of course didn’t work, my dad says “Let’s just pretend your mom dreamt the whole thing in the morning. We’ll all act like we don’t see a thing and don’t know what she’s talking about!” My friend and I were hysterically laughing. To this day, my friend still cracks up when she thinks about what my dad said. In the end, they cut a huge part of the carpet out and replaced it.

    I won’t bother to tell you about my amazing father. I voluntarily talk with him about 3 times a day. That should say enough.

    And I can’t leave out my incredible husband. He’s the most equal partner parent I know. From day one he’s been that way. All I have to do is talk to some of my girlfriends about their uninvolved husbands to know how lucky I am.
    All in all, I’ve been very blessed with the fathers in my life. I’m grateful everyday.

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Tracy, that is FANTASTIC!! Who knew we had such a similar experience? What I did know is that we have very similar dads, in that they are more loving, open, warm and kind than almost any dads I know. And the fact that your dad was such a good friend to mine… Well that just warms my heart.

      And, surprise surprise! We both married rockin’ husbands and dads! We’re lucky girls, Tracy. 🙂

  5. Reply Melisa says:

    I love that story!!! I hope that today your dad comes to “visit” you in the form of lots and lots of other great memories.

    One of my favorite stories about my own dad is short and sweet: when I was a teenager and bringing friends back home to hang out, he loved to be the center of attention and would eat Milk Bone dog biscuits to make everybody laugh. Naturally I was horrified at the time, but I laugh about it now! 🙂

  6. Reply Laura says:

    My Dad is no longer with us, but he was simply the BEST!

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      That’s awesome, Laura. Probably one of the reasons you turned out so nurturing. (Just guessing.) 😉

  7. Reply Alice says:

    I’m afraid to answer because it’ll kill the mood, but I’ve always been jealous of people with great dads! On facebook all day long I read about all of these great dads and saw people wishing their dads the best wishes on fathers day. My dad took off and my mom raised us on her own, which was fine and I didn’t think I was missing anything, but when I see the relationships that these friends of mine have, or had, with their special dads, and when I read about your relationship with your dad, it makes me feel like I got screwed. I went to a funeral for a very special teacher that we lost and he was such a great dad to his four kids and it just makes me so mad that my dad is alive and kicking out there doing nothing but smoking pot and eating candy and making plans for when he grows up (he’s 62) and these kids had to lose someone so special. I’m certainly not wishing death on my dad, I just wish things weren’t so unfair! Blaaahhh to this response! I don’t know if I should even hit submit! I’m very happy, really! The question just sparked this emotional response!

    • Reply Kristy says:

      Oh, Alice! We must be long lost sisters. Sounds so much like my Dad, although he’s a little younger than yours. Mine was actually in our local paper the other day in an article on some of the homeless people in the parks getting bullied by youth. I don’t condone bullying but whatever they dish out to my Dad, is more than likely well deserved.

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Alice, in my humble opinion you have every right to feel like you got screwed. BUT… It sounds like you’re not fooling yourself, or waiting around for your dad to change, like a lot of people would be doing. I’m sorry you got a raw deal. Good for you for making your own life happy!

  8. Reply Milaka says:

    I actually wrote a post about this in 2006 – and it still stands. I won’t take up your comment space, I’ll just direct you to the post: http://cabin77.livejournal.com/15065.html

    There are five dads I lift up: my grandfather, my father, my father-in-law, my brother and my husband. All five very different men, all five very devoted to family. I am truly, truly blessed!

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