22 Jul 2011

Revelation and Bathing Suits

14 Comments Personal Crap

Didn’t weigh myself again this morning.  Laughing at myself when I look in the mirror because I’m forcing myself to not think bad things.

Listened to the podcast just now, and it re-affirmed everything I’ve been feeling the last few days. I cringed a lot, but less than I thought I would.

Yesterday was G’s last swim class which meant the moms got in the pool. I put on my BIKINI with the skirted bottom. Why do they even make those? The second you get into the pool, the skirt flies up and you’re just wearing a regular bathing suit. Another mom was in a real bikini. She was insanely skinny. I focused on Garrett and what I needed to do to keep him safe and help him to be a good swimmer. I watched in awe as he swam from one end of the pool to the other, and back into my arms. I held him as he caught the “fish” at the bottom of the shallow end, over and over. I felt proud of my son, and the one or two negative thoughts about my stark white love handles… Vanished into the water.

When it was time to dry off, I didn’t run for my towel to cover myself up. I ran to Garrett’s towel to dry him off. THEN I got my own.

There are changes happening, people.

written by
Lisa Arch likes being a working actress... but LOVES being a Mom!

14 Responses to “Revelation and Bathing Suits”

  1. Reply Melisa says:

    Get out of my BRAIN. I just tried on my bathing suit (NOT a bikini), which I haven’t worn in 3 years, in preparation for the hotel pool in San Diego, and even though I’ve gained weight and it doesn’t look as good on me as it used to, I’ve decided that I’m TOTALLY passable and will indeed not die of embarrassment when I wear it. So meet me at the pool in your skirted bikini! 🙂 (p.s. they have a tequila bar there. just sayin.)

  2. Reply Julie says:

    Lisa, I wish you knew how many people see you on TV, and want what you have. As the old cliche goes, you are beautiful, inside and out. When G looks at you, he doesn’t see the things you worry about. He sees his wonderful, loving, funny mommy, who makes sure she’s with him as much as possible because there’s no place else she’d rather be.

    We all wish we were different. Let’s face it, I looked at my life in a completely different way after reading an article about Cindy Crawford, at the height of her career, talking about the fact she felt ugly. She’s not. She never has been. Other people dictated how she saw herself, though, and we all let it happen to each of us, too.

    I am so glad to read you’re staying away from the scale and when you look in the mirror, you’re concentrating on the good. Here’s one more thing, and it’s up to you. The hardest thing I had to learn was to say a sincere, “Thank you,” when someone gave me a compliment. Just try it. I know the first impulse is to disagree with the complimenter (is that a word?) or see the compliment through the prism of everything we believe is wrong.

    So, here’s your first test. You are beautiful, funny and smart. You are strong. You deserve to be happy.

    With love from your Twitter friend,

  3. Reply Carla says:

    Can I just agree with Julie? She has said it all! Thanks to you, I bought a one piece swimsuit a day or so ago…it has more fabric than some dresses I have owned!
    We are going to Lake Tahoe for a vacation next weekend….so I needed something! And who cares what anyone else at the lake will think…I am ok with it…:) Thanks to you all!

  4. Reply Laura says:

    So glad for you Lisa. You are beutiful inside and out. Just keep loving yourself!

  5. Reply Alexandra says:

    I loved this.

    It’s so true.

    We CANNOT let this state of mind rob us of the joy that is right there in front of us.

    We can’t.

    You done good, mama.

  6. Reply Christine says:

    Screw the skirty swimsuit. Get a boyshort bottom. You will feel appropriately covered and your ass will look effin’ hot. Then pair it with a bikini top that shows off the waist and the girls. I’m telling you, that’s a look you would rock.

    And screw the scale, too. Scales are great for measuring monthly weight loss goals, but are terrible for daily self esteem. And, since muscle weighs more than fat, it’s more about how your clothes fit and how comfy you are when your man sees you butt ass nekkid, not what the scale says.

    I’m glad you are getting your shit together about your weight and your looks. And, considering I’ve seen myself standing next to you on tv, it is very clear that you are the skinny bitch who made me look like a friggin’ tub-o-lard.

    Seriously, when you see yourself, see the woman you are. See the light and love and strength and power that your body holds. See your inner goddess. And know that you are beauty personified.

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Christine, I am absolutely going to look for a good boyshort. I am so OVER the skirt. And listen, not only am I about 8 pounds heavier than when we met… It also has nothing to do with that. It’s all in my stupid head. And I know it. But it somehow doesn’t make it easier to overcome. I am truly trying to see the light, love, strength and power. It’s getting easier, slowly but surely. Thanks, Christine. As always.

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