26 Jul 2011

Revelation, Week 2

9 Comments Health, Personal Crap

I have this stupid cold that’s been hanging on for a week. My colds usually stay around for at least three weeks, so I figure I have two to go.

I went to the doctor on Saturday just to make sure it’s just a cold, and I’m not contagious, etc.  So, of course, they weighed me. Fuckers. Fully dressed, shoes on, two cups of coffee and some cereal in my gut.

It was a bad number for me. One I’ve not seen in years. And, even though I knew it was a little off base (because of my 30 pounds of clothing. wink, wink), it made me angry. I was mad that I had been weighed at all, considering I’d done so well NOT weighing myself for the week. And, of course, because I HAD to see the REAL number… I also weighed myself naked when I got home, negating everything I had promised myself about only weighing-in on Mondays. I was 2 and a half pounds less, in case you’re wondering.

The numbers, both at the doc’s office and at home, put a bit of a damper on my mood.

BUT!!! (It’s a big but)

I beat myself up for MUCH less time than usual. I got on with my day, and my weekend and pushed as many of those negative thoughts away as I could. It’s sort of like playing tennis with one of those automatic tennis ball servers. Each ball lobbed at my brain is a negative thought, and I’m using my “positive racket” to hit each one away. Sometimes I miss, sometimes I hit it back. But at least I’m in the game.

I found myself swimming with G again yesterday. And I loved it. It’s getting easier, getting into a swim suit. But I did, unfortunately, say to my friend that I felt fat yesterday. I hated hearing it come out of my mouth and I instantly regretted it. I think that’s a good sign.

So this is my new goal: instead of thinking, “I want to weigh (insert number here) by the time I turn 40”, I’m trying to think, “I want to be happy with myself by the time I turn 40. I can keep working toward whatever it is I’d like to achieve. But I want to be truly happy with me on my birthday.” I like that goal a lot.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go look in the mirror and think of something positive to say. It might just be, “Wow! The reflection of this room is quite lovely in the sunlight.” But I’ll try to make it something like, “Wow! Nice belly-button!” I’ll try.

written by
Lisa Arch likes being a working actress... but LOVES being a Mom!

9 Responses to “Revelation, Week 2”

  1. Reply Sherry says:

    You’re a beautiful person, inside and out! The fact that you are willing to share that with all of us shows great courage! I quit weighing myself when our scale broke and I refuse ro buy a new one. Trying not to measure my worth by those numbers. Of course, I too had to go to the dr and I was weighed. I was wearing all heavy clothing, holding my purse, and a almost full Sprite bottle. I was frustrated with having to be weighed when I felt bad enough as it was. So, now I continue to watch what I eat and walk. If I need to go down a size in clothes, then that’s good to me. If I’m happy with how I look, that’s good to me. Saying something nice about myself in the mirror or anywhere else, I can’t see me doing. I do want to thank you. You show me that your perception of yourself is more important than numbers on a scale 🙂

  2. Reply Alexandra says:

    You know what? It’s hard. It’s always hard.

    It is deliberate work to reach a point of self acceptance.

    I work on it daily.

    Sometimes I’m OK, sometimes not.

    I have to remember: at least I am able bodied and capable of swimming, biking, walking, playing with my children.

    But it’s with deliberate self talk, that I get to any point of appreciation for a healthy body that works.

    We are such weak humans.

    Loving your honesty.

  3. Reply Laura says:

    Albert Einstein said “the things that can be counted (weight) often don’t count and the things that count (family, love, good times) can’t be counted” That may not be the exact saying, but it’s close.

    I wish you could for once see what I saw when I had the pleasure of meeting you at the New Jersey yard sale: A beautiful, tall, willowy, friendly, wonderful human being who was so kind to fans and made them feel like the best of girlfriends. That is what you need to see in the mirror! 🙂

  4. Reply Melisa says:

    That’s a MUCH better goal.

    When I see you next week (NEXT WEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!), I will first teach you a few lessons about Microsoft Excel, and then I will find things to compliment you on so you can practice enjoying it.

  5. Reply AL says:

    You are such an amazing woman! Really! Watching your latest episode on CH, US said, after a few minutes watching, “She’s good!” with his eye brow leading the way 🙂 He is right, of course. You are the total package, positive (Yes, YOU are!), kind, funny, caring, loyal, honest, talented, smart and Yes, beautiful woman! Beauty is noted last in that listing because it isn’t as important in the whole picture. I know your particular industry successes revolve around image, which is unfortunate, but through the years those actresses who continue to connect with their audiences are not all about their image, it’s about their ability to amplify and in essence, have thier audiences “forget” about their image!

    Accepting the changes gracefully, modify what you want to, (Note, I said WANT) and your characteristic good humor will win out, I promise. You have ALL of the important elements to survive 40, in style! Loving yourself first and reflecting the love of your family, friends and your fans by your actions is not just THE beautfiful thing,… it’s the whole enchilada, Baby!

    Enjoy the ride, Lisa…there’s a whole lot of life to live without allowing the BS to define any one of us! And….I LOVED You oh so hot PINK! 🙂

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