Archive for July 31st, 2011

31 Jul 2011

Revelation Day 10

3 Comments Personal Crap

I’m at the 10-day mark of my Revelation Workshop. I’m not cured, but I can honestly say I’m different. The negative thoughts? Still there. But fewer, farther between, and more annoying. I try to think positively. When I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see… I stop looking, instead of picking on myself.

This is not easy. And doing it while I weigh more than I have in years, makes it even harder. But that’s when I need to remind myself that it has ZERO to do with my actual weight. It has to do with my brain, and what’s weighing me down up there. I like this path that I’m on. It’s loaded with little land mines of bad thoughts and numbers on a scale, but I have to keep walking on it. And every time I’m hit with some bullshit shrapnel and I don’t fall down, I get a little stronger. This is a path to self-awareness and joy, and I’m going to walk it, jog it, skip on it, and crawl if I have to. I’m kind of enjoying the journey.

There are about fifteen other things that I want to write about today, but all of them feel too raw to discuss. Maybe “raw” is the wrong word, but they’re all things I still need to ruminate on and I don’t necessarily feel like writhing in front of you as I try to figure stuff out. So I will keep them for future posts.

I will tell you that I had a fantastic date with my husband last night, and it involved insanely good Indian food and a couple of hours at our local pub. And I can tell you that G and I swam AGAIN on Friday and he has officially turned into a fish. For most of our swim date, he was pretending to be MY swim teacher, showing me moves and how to be safe in the water. That was pretty awesome.

I can also tell you that I’m getting ready to attend a blogging conference this coming weekend, where I will meet many amazing, smart, funny and beautiful bloggers from around the country. To say I’m anxious doesn’t cover it. To say I’m a nervous wreck… Kind of does. But also? I can’t wait! This is one of those times I wish I drank more.

And with that… Happy Sunday!