Archive for February 12th, 2012

12 Feb 2012

Valenblah’s Blah

17 Comments Personal Crap

So Valentine’s Day, right?

I’m going to be honest with you. It pisses me off. I find it insulting. It’s a holiday that makes men feel incredibly pressured to buy the women in their lives last-minute gifts like flowers, chocolate and jewelry because they’re told that if they don’t… They’re going to pay.

And it makes women feel pressured to buy frilly lingerie and make exquisite meals for the men in their lives because if they don’t (along with some hot sex)… Then why did the man in their life run out and buy them the bullshit gift in the first place?

I’m not a fan of gifts, or sex, under pressure. I’m also not a fan of going to a restaurant where they’re going to feed you the same food they serve every other day of the year for a much higher price with less-attentive service and an hour-long wait. It’s the same reason I never go on on New Year’s Eve, and haven’t for over 10 years.

My husband and I love each other. We tell each other daily, even when we’re incredibly sick of each other and wish that one of us would get a job over seas for six months. That’s off-topic. We love each other, is the point. And we even like getting gifts from each other. We’re not necessarily great at the whole gift exchange thing, but when it does occur, we like it.

Russ likes it when I bring a shirt home that looks great on him and fits. I like when he brings home a necklace (Not diamond, mind you. I’m more of a $17 costume jewelry type), or picks up some flowers at the supermarket. I love the surprise ass grab in the kitchen (if I’m not holding a hot beverage), the times he holds my face in his hands to convince me how beautiful he thinks I am, and the amused looks we sneak each other when G-Man makes us proud.

I love when I come home to a vacuumed house (this actually happened today!), and when he tells me he loves my cooking. I love how he looks at me when I tell him he’s the best dad in the world.

I just can’t stand the thought of a holiday that forces people to tell you how they feel, especially when it seems like it HAS TO come with some sort of present. It’s unfair, and it makes people feel like failures.

I’m not a person who doesn’t like to celebrate things. In fact, I love to. I am just not a fan of this particular holiday for all of the reasons I told you above.

Having said all of that, my mom and dad used to celebrate Valentine’s Day like their marriage depended on it. (It did not depend on it, by the way.) My dad would always buy my mom jewelry, they would exchange cards with flowery language, and they would go out for expensive meals either alone, or with other couples. My mom has never understood why Russ and I don’t celebrate it with the same ferver.

Last year was my mom’s first Valentine’s Day alone, so we had her over for dinner. It was a sweet evening, she was thankful to be with family, and we were glad to have her. This year, we’re celebrating with my mom and my brother’s family at his house. We’re having a potluck so that everyone pitches in. We’ll eat together in the usual chaotic way, chatting about our lives and stresses, laughing at inappropriate jokes, and razzing each other (mostly my mom.) ┬áMy niece will beg to make everyone coffees and my nephew will tell me he loves my pumpkin cupcakes. My son will beg his cousin to tell him more about Star Wars and my brother will do annoying magic tricks. My sis-in-law will talk me through my stress about public schools and my mom will steal kisses from her grandkids as often as possible.

In short, we will be celebrating love on Valentine’s Day. And I am totally okay with that tradition.

(I’m also okay with store-bought flowers or a sweet card. But it doesn’t HAVE to happen. At least not on Valentine’s Day.)

Oh, and please do not think I’m judging you if you love to celebrate this heart-filled holiday. It just ain’t my thang. Looks good on you, though!