Archive for May 31st, 2012

31 May 2012

Rituals and Revelations

11 Comments Personal Crap, Toddler

I have to stop waiting for huge revelations before I sit down and write. I have small revelations daily that are worth saying a sentence about. Or I could just write about my day and hope two or three people find it interesting. So I’m going to try to not let another month go by without putting words on my screen. Honestly, I’ll try to not let a week go by.

Jesus. This blog is starting to sound like my 12 year old diary. Each entry started with “Sorry I haven’t written in such a long time!”

Today I had three (Count them. THREE) auditions. I drove past a Hollywood Star Tours bus and almost rolled down my window to shout, “Hey Tourists!! You’re looking at someone with a one-in-seventy-three chance of booking a radio campaign for Volkswagen!”

But I also had a revelation. So here goes:

I have started at least 100 daily rituals since G-Man came along. I’m going to list as many as I can think of here, in hopes you’ll giggle or snort, and that you’ll tell me some of yours. I will put them in whatever order they come to mind.

I put a cup of ice water or juice in my car before I get G from school. He expects it there.

I sleep nightly with Penguey (G’s Penguin), a dinosaur blanket, and a black and white checked blanket. G insists on all of this. Apparently, Penguey loves me and Penguey can’t sleep without the black and white blanket because it reminds her of water. And the dino blanket is orange, which is my favorite color, so G can’t bear for me to be without it. I officially am unable to fall asleep unless I’m spooning Penguey.

Every night I put a magic spell on G’s water so he doesn’t have any dreams. Nope, not even good ones. Here’s how it goes: I hold the water and sing “No dreams Garrett, No dreams Garrett, No dreams Garrett, No dreams Garrett, No dreams!” Then I wave my hand over the cup and make a wind noise with my mouth. Then I touch the cup and say, “BING!” Then G pats the cup and blows on it. Then I kiss the cup and I kiss him. Then we each take a sip. Then I say “GORK” and he says “TWO AT A TIME!” I swear to god it’s the same thing every single night.  If he has any dreams, I get the blame.

The newest ritual is that, before bed, G takes this blue goo he got in an Easter egg and puts it in a “pajama egg”. Then he puts it in a tupperware thing and puts it to bed. In the morning, “Eggy” or “Slimey” gets his “clothes egg” back on and comes out to play.  I am, of course, in charge of picking out the eggs.

Every night I rock in G’s room as he falls asleep. This started about 8 or so months ago and I’m not sure when it’ll stop. Now the rocking chair is gone in favor of his giant bunk bed, but we still call it rocking. Now I “rock” by lying on the bean bag next to his bed and playing Words With Friends or doing a crossword on my iPhone for 15 minutes. Every night.

Whenever I am going anywhere without G, he stands at the front door and waves and yells, “I LOVE YOU” until my car is out of sight. Of course, I yell out my window and wave out my sun roof, too. Conversely, if he goes anywhere with Daddy and I stay home, I stand at the door and do the same thing. And he yells out the car window, “GOODBYE! I LOVE YOU! HAVE A GREAT DAY!” It’s priceless.

For two solid years, every time I leave G at school I wave to him. He stands at the window, his friends behind him playing with blocks or listening to “Free to be You and Me”, and he waves back. I wave and walk until I turn the corner. Then I wait a second and pop back out for one final wave, a blown kiss, and a thumbs up. I can’t believe it’s gone on this long. And I’ll do it as long as he lets me.

That’s all I can think of right now, because it’s 9:16 and my brain stops working at 9:14. But I’ll add more as I think of them.

PLEASE share some of yours!