Archive for October, 2012

25 Oct 2012

I’ve got a second to post!

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I’m on day three of a gluten-free diet and I’m all hopped up on energy that I haven’t had in a while so I thought I’d harness some of it and write a quick blog post. Did I mention I’m also on a comma-free diet and I’m refusing to break up sentences to tell you when to pause??

Yeah. Gluten-free. I’ve suspected for YEARS that I’ve had gluten issues but I’ve also always known that pancakes, pies, pastries, and breads were things that I really didn’t want to give up. But it’s all gotten to be just too damn much lately, what with the bloating and the mood swings and the TOTAL EXHAUSTION! So I figured I’d give it a few weeks and see if it helps. If it doesn’t, I’ll go right back to eating everything I love. If it does, I will cheat my ass off on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and all the parties associated with these holidays. But I’ll live the rest of my live without gluten, which I will apparently stop craving in one month.

Did I mention I’m in a GREAT MOOD?? And I’m not even being sarcastic!

New topic:

Tonight I’m going on my zillionth school tour/open house/parent’s night. If I was getting paid for this, I’d be buying myself some new jeans, a new couch, and a new car. That’s if I was getting minimum wage.

This has been non-stop. But I do think we have finally decided to go to public school and nix all private tours from here on in.  I actually toured a public magnet school last week where a woman got up to speak and was so inspiring I almost punched the air. She was the head of the parent volunteer association at her school, (PVA? or is it just the PTA? Or PTO? WTF?), and she made it clear that it was the PARENTS who make the school what it is.

I already plan on being very, very involved wherever G-Man goes, so why not save the GAZILLION dollars it costs for private school, send G to a GREAT public school, and make it even GREATER?????

But seriously, the tours are non-stop and I have about 10 or 12 to go to after tonight. The point is to try to lottery into the best public school possible, but have several fall-backs as well. And I’m finding out my home school might be way better than I thought!!

Okay, I have to go pack a few things for G for tonight, as he’ll be with Grandma while I’m touring a school and Russ works late so we can pay the mortgage. I mean, someone has to work if my job is touring schools. Why do I feel like I’ve typed that sentence before?

Ta!

09 Oct 2012

The Abbreviated Version

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I sat down for an hour yesterday and wrote about all the reasons I’ve been “off line” for three months. I worried about posting it. I just read it back and I can’t stand how I sound.

Short and sweet:  Bout of depression (first ever in my life), Bout of severe anxiety once I came out of my depression (first ever that I can remember), mid-life crisis, paralyzing decisions about my future, terrifying decisions about G’s future (that I know I am putting FAR too much importance on, but can not help fretting about), etc.

I am fighting my way out of this. I am completely aware of all of the beauty and joy in my life. I am enjoying my son more than ever. I am trying to figure it out. I am trying to find myself again, but I think I’ve been looking for the wrong me. I think there’s a new me in her place and I need to learn her language.

I have been useless at my keyboard, so I stopped trying for a while. It’s more important for me to be useful in my life, and then I believe the rest will follow.

I’ve missed this. But more than that, I missed me.

And that is about 1100 words less than the post I wrote yesterday. I just saved you a whole lot of time.

Thanks for stopping by. I hope to see you soon.

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