19 Nov 2012

Rules are Rules, People.

9 Comments Uncategorized

This is a week for being thankful. And I am. I am so thankful I could burst at the seams.

But I’m also pissed. I am truly sick and tired to the CORE of thoughtless, self-involved assholes who care about no one but themselves. In short, I am sick of people who don’t follow the rules.

Sure, there are times when rule-following is not the way to go. For instance, had I followed the rules and NOT called the casting-director myself, instead of using an agent, I never would have had an audition for Mad TV. Had I followed the rules and NOT dated someone on set, I never would have married Russ. These are rules that are meant to be broken, and hurt no one.

Besides those examples, I am a major follow-the-rules-ist. At parties in junior high, I would take beers out of my friends’ hands and tell them they were too young to drink. I never snuck out of my house. I never missed curfew without calling. I never skipped a class (until senior year, and then I really made up for it).  Today, I use my blinker when I drive so people know which way I’m turning, I hold doors open for people, and I wait my turn in line.

Because I’m such a stickler, it makes me endlessly angry when I see people doing anything they want with no regard for the rules.

Saturday I tracked dog shit all over my mom’s ivory carpet because people never pick their dog shit up from the lawn in front of our house. Today I went out to our trash cans to throw out THE DOG SHIT I PICKED UP and found one of our cans completely filled with other people’s trash.  This got me so angry, I had a huge outburst upon coming back inside. “What is WRONG with people??? Why is no one considerate of others anymore? WHAT THE HELL?????”

Russ nodded in agreement and went back to work on the laptop. Apparently 15 years of these rants has gotten old.

Even now, though, I’m in a bit of a tizzy. I’m angry. I don’t like that there are so many people whose true natures are to be thoughtless and rude.

And I think it’s getting to me even more now because of Garrett. Not only do I want him to grow up in a world where people are considerate, I also want him to not walk around hating people all the time… Like I do. Because, you see, G-Man is a big ol’ rule follower. So much so, that he’s always telling on other kids who are not following the rules.

Mom! Jason is licking the playground! Mom! Matthew is hitting Samantha! Mom! Megan just took three more m&ms even though you said we could each only have five!! MOM!! AUSTIN IS ON THE TOP BUNK AND THERE ARE NO ADULTS IN HERE TO SUPERVISE!!!!

He is a huge tattle-tale, my son. But I know exactly where it’s coming from. Us rule-followers can not stand it when other people are eschewing the rules. (God, I hope that’s the proper use of “eschewing”. I really don’t feel like looking it up. But I’m going to, because I’m a frigging rule-follower.) (I checked. I think I’m okay.) I’m not sure if we are jealous and angry because we feel like we HAVE to follow and these people clearly do not. Or if we are just mad because we feel safer in a world where things have an order to them, and the order is only present when rules are being followed. Either way, G only got five m&ms and Megan got eight. That’s not fair, right?

My son is tortured with doing the right thing.  And I am very pleased and incredibly grateful that he is the way he is. But I hate it for him that so many around him are rule-breakers. And maybe the worst part is that they get away with it. Because it makes us rule-ists wonder why we continue to follow the rules.

Well, hopefully it’ll be of some comfort to G to know that his mom and dad are also rule-ists to our very souls, and that we turned out okay. Or maybe it won’t be comforting at all. Maybe he’ll walk around screaming about the idiots who cut in line, take three free samples from the lady at Costco, and  throw litter out of their cars as they’re driving. And maybe, just maybe, every once in a while he’ll see one of those jerks get their comeuppance, and he’ll smile to himself, proud that he was smart enough to follow the rules…. (Except the ones that are meant to be broken!)

written by
Lisa Arch likes being a working actress... but LOVES being a Mom!

9 Responses to “Rules are Rules, People.”

  1. Reply Melisa says:

    GET OUT OF MY HEAD. I am 100% with you on this, every single word. Even “eschew”.

    I can tell you from experience that it is really, really hard to be a rule follower and raise another rule follower (or two), because everyone (especially the kid) gets frustrated when they see others doing whatever the heck they want to.

    That said, the reward for the frustrating time spent raising them pays off big time. When you see what a real Mensch (Threw that in since we’re both members of the Jew Crew!) Garrett grows into? Oh my gosh. You will forget all about the unfair times and the jerky people. Our world is going to survive because of people like our boys. Promise.

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      You are SO RIGHT, Melisa!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I LOVE my menschy G-Man!!! (And you ain’t so bad, yourself. ) xoxo

  2. Reply Colleen says:

    I’m right there with ya, too! I’m regularly ticked off when I see things working out for other people when I know damn well they cheated or cut some huge corner to get there. And I may have just created a monster in my 5yo… This past summer, while at the pool with friends, he had a HUGE fit when I suggested it was OK to go back in the pool after going to the bathroom WITHOUT WASHING HIS HANDS. Oh the horror! (The men’s bathroom was out of soap. I ended up going into the ladies’ room, pumping soap into my hand and transferring it to his. I couldn’t make this up if I tried…)

    • Reply flawlessmom says:

      Colleen, that’s hysterical. Okay, at least I know there are others. Maybe G can call your 5YO when he needs a little pep talk about what it’s like to be a strict “rules-ist.”

  3. Reply Michelle says:

    Bravo! I couldn’t have said it better myself.

  4. Reply Grandma Farm says:

    Glad to see you writing again. Loved the crafty turkey but love the stories so much more.

  5. Reply Milaka says:

    Yep, I’m with you on this one, too. Buddy’s much more lax about rule following than Princess. Buddy does follow the rules that involve being courteous to other people (besides his sister) and (for the most part) involve obedience to me or Hubby, but general rules that are meant to be understood and are there for his SAFETY (like, “don’t climb on that because you might fall and kill yourself”) are more like guidelines for him.

    He’s lucky he’s so damn cute.

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