This is a week for being thankful. And I am. I am so thankful I could burst at the seams.
But I’m also pissed. I am truly sick and tired to the CORE of thoughtless, self-involved assholes who care about no one but themselves. In short, I am sick of people who don’t follow the rules.
Sure, there are times when rule-following is not the way to go. For instance, had I followed the rules and NOT called the casting-director myself, instead of using an agent, I never would have had an audition for Mad TV. Had I followed the rules and NOT dated someone on set, I never would have married Russ. These are rules that are meant to be broken, and hurt no one.
Besides those examples, I am a major follow-the-rules-ist. At parties in junior high, I would take beers out of my friends’ hands and tell them they were too young to drink. I never snuck out of my house. I never missed curfew without calling. I never skipped a class (until senior year, and then I really made up for it). Today, I use my blinker when I drive so people know which way I’m turning, I hold doors open for people, and I wait my turn in line.
Because I’m such a stickler, it makes me endlessly angry when I see people doing anything they want with no regard for the rules.
Saturday I tracked dog shit all over my mom’s ivory carpet because people never pick their dog shit up from the lawn in front of our house. Today I went out to our trash cans to throw out THE DOG SHIT I PICKED UP and found one of our cans completely filled with other people’s trash. This got me so angry, I had a huge outburst upon coming back inside. “What is WRONG with people??? Why is no one considerate of others anymore? WHAT THE HELL?????”
Russ nodded in agreement and went back to work on the laptop. Apparently 15 years of these rants has gotten old.
Even now, though, I’m in a bit of a tizzy. I’m angry. I don’t like that there are so many people whose true natures are to be thoughtless and rude.
And I think it’s getting to me even more now because of Garrett. Not only do I want him to grow up in a world where people are considerate, I also want him to not walk around hating people all the time… Like I do. Because, you see, G-Man is a big ol’ rule follower. So much so, that he’s always telling on other kids who are not following the rules.
Mom! Jason is licking the playground! Mom! Matthew is hitting Samantha! Mom! Megan just took three more m&ms even though you said we could each only have five!! MOM!! AUSTIN IS ON THE TOP BUNK AND THERE ARE NO ADULTS IN HERE TO SUPERVISE!!!!
He is a huge tattle-tale, my son. But I know exactly where it’s coming from. Us rule-followers can not stand it when other people are eschewing the rules. (God, I hope that’s the proper use of “eschewing”. I really don’t feel like looking it up. But I’m going to, because I’m a frigging rule-follower.) (I checked. I think I’m okay.) I’m not sure if we are jealous and angry because we feel like we HAVE to follow and these people clearly do not. Or if we are just mad because we feel safer in a world where things have an order to them, and the order is only present when rules are being followed. Either way, G only got five m&ms and Megan got eight. That’s not fair, right?
My son is tortured with doing the right thing. And I am very pleased and incredibly grateful that he is the way he is. But I hate it for him that so many around him are rule-breakers. And maybe the worst part is that they get away with it. Because it makes us rule-ists wonder why we continue to follow the rules.
Well, hopefully it’ll be of some comfort to G to know that his mom and dad are also rule-ists to our very souls, and that we turned out okay. Or maybe it won’t be comforting at all. Maybe he’ll walk around screaming about the idiots who cut in line, take three free samples from the lady at Costco, and throw litter out of their cars as they’re driving. And maybe, just maybe, every once in a while he’ll see one of those jerks get their comeuppance, and he’ll smile to himself, proud that he was smart enough to follow the rules…. (Except the ones that are meant to be broken!)