Archive for January 7th, 2013

07 Jan 2013

Good, Bad, Better

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The other day, a friend of mine very casually said that we have our best moments and our worst moments when we become parents.

I have not been able to get those words out of my head. She’s so very right. I have had the best moments of my life, been the best ME I’ve ever been, since having Garrett. I’ve also had some moments that I felt ashamed, mad at myself, or just plain stupid.

I thought it might be a good time to reflect on what I like about me as a mom, and what I don’t. So I can do more of the good stuff, and less of the bad. And maybe you can chime in about what you’re brilliant at and what you’d like to change?

I am good at:

Letting G know how loved he is.

Letting him know how smart and special he is.

Making sure he’s well-fed.

Keeping promises.

Scheduling play-dates, so he has a ton of time with other kids.

Teaching him things.

Answering any questions he has about… Anything.

Letting him know how important it is to laugh and how cool it is to be odd.

Being a very big part of his school, knowing all the kids and parents, helping with important functions, and setting up fun things for him and his friends.

Being strict. Sticking to my guns even when it’s hard. And helping him to be a good person.

I am not so great at:

Being patient.

Not exploding over little, unimportant annoyances. In front of him. Which is scary.

Playing games that he’s created 35 hard-to-follow rules for. (see patience.)

Saying nice things about our home. I complain way too much, in front of G, about the mess and the things I’m unhappy with. This is such an awful message to send. I want to change it to one of gratitude for all that we have. This is taking a whole lot of work in therapy.

Teaching him to clean up and be organized. I’m still learning these things myself, and I’m afraid I’m passing on the “messy” (but very clean and germ-free) gene.

Things I’m getting better at:

Saying, out loud, when I need a break to re-charge. Then taking that break and coming back strong.

Being spontaneous and extra silly.

Having people over, even when I’m not thrilled about the way the house looks. G won’t remember the rip in the couch. He’ll remember that his friends were always welcome here.

These are the things I could think of quickly. I know there are many more, in each category. PLEASE share your thoughts. These are the things we need to talk to each other about so we feel less crazy.