Archive for Flawless Saturday Question

02 Jul 2011

Flawless Saturday Question

22 Comments Flawless Saturday Question

Hello, folks. I’ve missed you. I was in Oregon for a week and this week Garrett is home from school and my husband has had (and will continue to have) our lap top at work. So, my ability to communicate has been grossly stunted.  It will be less stunted in the coming weeks, but still slightly stunted. Stunted. Just wanted to say it again.

Summer’s here. Did you know that? It is! And with summer comes heat. And with heat comes barbecues and parties and… Swimming pools. Ergo, bathing suits. I will be donning a bathing suit in two days to celebrate the 4th of July by swimming with my son and eating copious amounts of tortilla chips. I will most likely hate every ounce of my body in said bathing suit, but I will act like I don’t. I will act like I LOVE being in a bathing suit so that my son senses good times instead of horrible insecurity. And maybe, just maybe, I can pretend SO well… I might forget to hate myself.

I would skinny dip if it meant my son having a good time. Which it wouldn’t. It would just be really weird and embarrassing. For everyone involved. But you get my point. Right?

Are you swim suit ready? If not, will you still swim? Why or why not?

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UPDATE

Dreamed all night that I looked fantastic in a bikini. I kept looking down at my stomach in disbelief. It was a good dream except for the fact that I didn’t at all ENJOY the fact that I looked so good. I just kept acting stunned and bewildered.

The suit I’ll wear tomorrow is one of those halter tops with a sort of blousey thing going on and a skirted bottom. So hilarious.


18 Jun 2011

Flawless Saturday Question

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Tomorrow is Father’s Day. Tell me about a dad in your life. He can be a friend, your husband, your father, an uncle… You get the idea. Help me celebrate fathers and tell me,

Who is a dad you admire, and why? Great stories are strongly encouraged!

Let me first say, I married a man who turned out to be not only a stellar husband, but a miraculous father. He is already creating memories with our son, which will stick with him always. He is beyond silly, immensely patient, always optimistic, and incredibly warm, kind, cuddly and loving. Garrett is so fortunate to have a father like Russ, and I am so lucky to get to watch their special relationship unfold. I know how lucky G is, because I was that lucky with my own father. Happy Father’s Day, Russ.

This will be my first Father’s Day without my dad. Those of you who are regular readers know how much he means to me, and what an incredible dad he was. Here’s one of my favorite and funniest memories:

We had just gotten a new dog from the pound. His name was Max and he was a mutt, mostly shepherd with some golden retriever thrown in, I think. Great dog. We knew he was for us the second we saw him. My dad tended to love the Family Dog almost as much as he loved the Family. It was one of those awesome things about him.

Now let me back track for a second. About two months before we got Max, my mom furnished her living room for the first time since my parents bought the house 14 years earlier. See, my folks kept the living room completely open for that ENTIRE time so that my brother and I could have a rehearsal space in the house. They loved having kids come over to rehearse for school festivals, drama camp scenes, and our sketch-comedy shows. Now that Bob and I were both out of school, my parents finally furnished that space.

The biggest purchase was an off-white, half-circle, silk couch that was my mom’s prize possession. When we got Max, (who she also loved dearly), she insisted that we keep him away from that couch. Her only request: “I waited 14 years to get this couch. Please don’t let that dog ruin it.”

So, it was about a week after getting Max and I had just come home from work and he clearly had to pee. I ran him to the back door, through the living room, past the couch…

He peed on the couch.

He lifted his leg and peed, right there on the side of my mom’s new, off-white, silk couch.

I stared at him, my mouth agape, my head reeling. “MAX! NOOOOOOOOO!”

Now what do I do?

I ran to the kitchen to call my dad, who worked about three miles from home at the time.

“DAD! MAX PEED ON THE COUCH! HE PEED ON THE COUCH!”

“WHAT? (deep breath) Oh my god. Okay. Is it bad?”

“It’s really bad. Right on the side coming in from the family room. It’s bad.”

“Okay. Don’t do anything. I’ll call an upholstery cleaner and I’ll be home in ten minutes.”

Ten minutes later, my dad walked in and looked at the stain.

“Oh, shit”, he said.

“I know”, I said.

And then we laughed our asses off. I think we were both so nervous about what my mom was going to do, we couldn’t help but laugh.

“You can’t ever, ever tell your mom about this. If she sees the stain, we lie. We have no idea what happened. It’s probably just an irregularity in the silk that we never noticed, okay?”

“Okay!”

Just then the doorbell rang and the cleaner came in. He spent about an hour doing his best and when he left it was still pretty bad.

And there we were, standing next to the stain, petting Max and praying for all of our souls.

My mom noticed the stain within a month. My dad and I acted like we had always seen it, and that the couch just came that way. My mom thought something had happened, but we convinced her it was fine.

It was about 12 years later that we finally admitted what happened. Max had already passed away, so he was free. My mom couldn’t help but see the humor, because she has a great sense of it. But I know she was a little pissed. I was happy to have had that secret with my dad. Another example of how he made every crappy situation a whole lot better.

Just writing that made me laugh my ass off. God, I’m lucky to have had him as a dad.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy.

11 Jun 2011

Flawless Saturday Question

15 Comments Flawless Saturday Question

Today’s question is not a question. NAY, ’tis a challenge!

I want you to do something positive this weekend, TODAY or TOMORROW that is completely out of character for you.

For example, if you are usually shy and demure, I want you to say “hello” to three strangers.

If you haven’t cooked or baked in years, make yourself some chocolate chip cookies or a fabulous dinner.

If you never call your brother… Do it.

See where I’m going? Find something different to do this weekend. It doesn’t have to be time-consuming or life-altering. It just has to get you out of your comfort zone, if only for a minute.

I don’t know what my challenge to myself will be yet, but I’ll let you know as soon as I do.

Let me hear how it goes!!!

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UPDATE

Okay, so I took my own challenge and did a couple things that are completely unlike me. First, I used to be a whole lot more spontaneous, but since having G it’s rare that I do anything without planning. And planning. So yesterday we had plans with friends for dinner and I tried to think of something that we never do.

Ten years ago, Russ and I ate with my parents at a great restaurant on Olvera St. in down town L.A. We’ve always wanted to go back, but we haven’t. So I suggested we get on the bus to the train to Olvera St. and go! He was immediately into it and so were our friends.

There’s a couple layers here for me because we really don’t ever use L.A.’s public transportation (sadly). As a matter of fact, I think this was my third time ever. And we’ve never taken it this far. We were so impressed by how many people were using it! And we loved that we weren’t wasting gas.We also rarely get out of the areas we’re familiar with, and we’re pretty much never spontaneous like that. PLUS, I’m a bit claustrophobic so standing on the crowded bus was not something I’d usually choose to do. But I think I could get used to it.

We all had a blast on the train. G was a little freaked out by the sounds at first but we turned it into a game and he was (literally) on board after that. Olvera St. was beautiful. The food at the restaurant was incredible. It was a great, spontaneous, fun, and exciting evening for all.

I might try to do one more out of the box thing today, but I’m not sure. Last night was great for my psyche. I’m happy G got the experience, and I think we’ll be doing a lot more of it in the future.

04 Jun 2011

Flawless Saturday Question

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What do you do to help the environment? What do you want to start doing to help?

Garrett and I just spent a few hours at a local “green” fair where we sampled some yummy organic food, bought some reusable lunch baggies and took a nature hike. There were tons of booths with great info on conserving and recycling, etc. It got me thinking about what else we can do in our house to be good to the Earth. Here’s what we’ve done so far:

Recycle

Use less water

Turn off lights

Buy organic meats and produce

Buy a lot of organic dry goods

Use reusable bags at the grocery store

Put reusable containers in G’s lunches

I’m very proud of what we do in our home, but I’d like to do more. I want to hook up power strips to our computers and TV’s so we can turn all of those off at night. I’d like to start unplugging the toaster and toaster oven. I should take shorter showers (good luck) and get regular maintenance for our air conditioning. I should also waste less food, and make sure to only buy what we need and eat what we buy!

So, what do you do now and what would you like to improve to help save energy and do good for our world?

28 May 2011

Flawless Saturday Question

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Yesterday, Russ and I had the most cliche’ fight ever. Okay, it wasn’t a fight. It was a fun “discussion”. The basic gist was that I HATE when he leaves the seat up. He feels it’s unfair that he should have to raise the seat when he has to pee.

I explained that having the toilet seat up makes the toilet look more “exposed”. You walk into the bathroom and there it is, mouth agape, starting at you and saying, “This is where your waste goes. This is where EVERYONE’S waste goes. I’m gross.” Also, boys don’t always have the greatest aim. Enough said.

And a couple times, in the middle of the night, I accidentally sat down on the open toilet and pretty much fell in. That made me nauseous for weeks.

So after a long “discussion” we came to an agreement. From now on, we both have to close the toilet completely. That way we BOTH have to lift the lid when we have to go. Brilliant, right?

In honor of this momentous occasion, I thought it would be appropriate to ask a few bathroom-related Flawless Saturday Questions:

1. Toilet seat up or down? You know my answer.

2. Toilet paper over or under? I used to be strictly over. Now I go both ways.

3. Water off or running while you brush your teeth? I always turn it off. Wasting water makes me crazy!

4. Do you let your spouse/kids walk in when you’re “going”? I’m ok with number 1. Not with number 2. And that is way, way too much info.

5. Do you read on the potty? I’m a fan of boggle on my iPhone, or crossword puzzles. Again, too much info.

Looking forward to reading your answers! (On the potty.) (What am I doing?)

23 May 2011

BONUS: Flawless Saturday Question

4 Comments Flawless Saturday Question

How are you at managing your time?

I’m noticing more and more that I have a complete inability to use my time wisely. I manage to do everything I have to do in the morning before taking G to school, which usually involves feeding the dog and cats, packing G’s lunch, feeding him and me breakfast, folding some laundry, and sometimes showering.

The rest of the day, however, kind of gets away from me.

Like today. I know I need to grocery shopping but I had two auditions to get ready for right after school drop off today. I went on those auditions, and by the time I got home and shoveled some food in my face it was (it is) 1:02PM and I only have two hours before I pick up G and I’ve accomplished NOTHING of value.

I want to make a menu for the week so I’m not wasting food. I want to clean out the hall closet. I want to return some emails and start getting rid of stuff in my office so I can eventually turn it into a playroom.  Friends call to have lunch but I find myself not knowing how to fit a lunch into my schedule because the day moves so damn fast! And, by the way, I’d like to find some friggin’ time to be creative so I can do something that means something to me again before I’m all the way to middle age!

So how do I fix this problem? How do I become a better manager of my time? Does anyone do it successfully? I’m sure they do. And I want to know their tricks.  Because the thing is, once my kid is home from school, I like hanging with him. So from 9 to 3, I need to be Superwoman.

Consider this a bonus Flawless Saturday Question:

What are your tips for organizing your time? (Or is this just the way it’s going to be until G is 18? If it is, I’m FINE with that. Really!! I just need to know.)

21 May 2011

Flawless Saturday Question

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What’s your “party” persona?

Russ and I went to a big party last night. It was for Clean House on the rooftop of a fancy hotel in Hollywood.  There was an open bar and passed hors d’oeuvres and it was fun and festive.

I began the evening with a dirty martini: Vodka, thank you. I love martinis, but I usually opt for wine instead. Wine’s better for you, has less calories, and is easier to sip. But last night, I felt like a martini girl. It was delicious and cold and perfect. Then I had another and found it equally enjoyable.

Then I was a tad tipsy. Not sloppy, mind you. But I was definitely tipsy. I’m rarely tipsy, so I decided to enjoy it. Plus, I knew I’d be driving us home, and for the next three hours I’d be drinking water and eating. (Not to mention schmoozing and yapping and hugging and chatting.)

We had a fantastic time. I got to hang out with a lot of lovely folks. We laughed a ton. My “party persona” is definitely one of a social butterfly. I’ve been like that since I was a kid. I love to talk to as many people as I can talk to, and find out what’s up with them. Of course there are those times when I just want to sit in a corner and veg… But that wasn’t me last night.

After the party, Russ and I went out for a 1:00 AM breakfast. We haven’t done that in years and we loved it. G was sleeping at his cousins’ house, so we had the whole night to ourselves. We went to bed after 2:00, and woke up at 9:00 to bring breakfast to G-Man and the family.

Today, I’m hungover. I have a horrible headache and I’m kind of nauseous. The truth is, I’d have had as much fun last night if I hadn’t had one drink. And I’d feel much, much better today. At almost 40, I think I need to stick to my one glass of wine, and skip the martinis. (At least skip the second one!)

So, when you go to a party and you have the whole night… How do you do it?

14 May 2011

Flawless Saturday Question

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What was your last ticket?  Have you ever talked yourself out of one?

Last week I was driving to work. Apparently I was driving 14 miles-per-hour too fast. However, so was EVERYONE ELSE AROUND ME! Anyway, I got pulled over by Officer Motorcycle Cop with Radar Gun. I rolled down my window and he said, “You were going 49 in a 35″, and he showed me the radar gun to prove it.

Long story short, I almost had myself talked out of it. He was wavering. He “felt bad”. But then I let him off the hook. “Don’t worry about it. You’re just doing your job”, I stupidly uttered. “Yeah. The people around here have been complaining about the speeding. I gotta write the ticket”, he replied apologetically.

So, almost the entire way to work, I cried. I didn’t cry because of the ticket, or the money it was going to cost me, or the time I was going to have to spend on the on-line traffic school. (Although each of those things is insanely annoying.) I cried because I almost talked myself OUT of the ticket, then talked myself back IN. I was pissed at myself.

Now, two other times in my past I did manage to talk myself out of tickets. Once, about 8 years ago, because I happened to be super cute that day, and I forced myself out of the car so the cop could see just how cute I was. I got let off with a hug and a warning. Seriously.

The second was because I had just dropped G off to sleep at his daycare for the first time ever. It was almost two years ago. I was sobbing as I drove away, and a cop followed me the two blocks home to tell me I did something. I don’t even remember what. By the time he got up to my window, I had worked myself up to a full crazy cry. He asked if I was okay and I yelled, “NO! I’M NOT!”

This cop literally backed away from my car, his hands up as if he was afraid I would jump out of my car and tackle him. “You try to have a better day, Ma’am. Sorry.” Then he was on his motorcycle and gone.

So, I got out of one because I was cute, the other because I was terrifying. Not sure which was more gratifying.

Tell me your story (or stories)!

07 May 2011

Flawless Saturday Question

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What does Mother’s Day mean to you?

Whether you’re a mother, a daughter, a son, or a husband… You most likely have had a mother, or are related to one. So, you’re most likely celebrating Mother’s Day in some way.

I always have family over for Mother’s Day and I always cook. This year I’m making it easy on myself and ordering in a big Italian feast. This way, I won’t be stressed and I’ll be able to visit with everyone. I’ve been working a lot, so this is my present to myself.

I feel lucky to be a part of this celebration; to celebrate the thing I am most proud of being. I hope to get to sleep in a bit. I hope for breakfast in bed. And I hope for some extra kisses, both from my kid and for my mom.

I hope all of you moms get special time with your families, a chance to reflect and relax, and that someone lets you know how special you are, for caring as much as you do and giving as much as you can.

Happy Mother’s Day

What will you do to celebrate? And what does Mother’s Day mean to you?

30 Apr 2011

Flawless Saturday Question

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What do you want to know???

I’m exhausted.

It’s my 11-year anniversary, I was a drag queen for many hours today at a Clean house yard sale, and I was up for quite a while last night with my son.

So, you know what? Today I want YOU to ask the FSQ. That’s right! NOW is the time to ask me anything you can think of to ask. I know it’s presumptuous of me to think you’d have anything to ask me, but just in case… I’m giving you permission.

If there’s nothing you particularly need to know, just go on about your day. Or congratulate me on 11 years of marriage. Or make me a cup of coffee.