06 Jan 2011

Behind The Scenes Questions, Answered

4 Comments Career

Obviously most of the standups and the questions you ask the homeowner are written, but how much of a show like “Clean House,” for instance, is ad-libbed by the host and clutter crew? There’s a lot of theme-y punning going on, that’s for sure.

Actually, pretty much all of it is ad-lib. There’s a general idea of the information we need to get from the family, or some bit of info that has to come out at some time, but we all just “talk” and get it done. Even the stand-ups are either off the cuff, or written by us, the people saying them. I’d say 90% of what you see is ad-lib. Even the puns! After a while, you just start thinking that way.

How long is a work day? How do you deal with a person who gets mad or rude? Also, please tell me you will be hosting occasionally again! We miss you on tv!

Our work days vary. For Clean House, the host definitely has the shortest work days. There’s usually one 10 to 12 hour day, and two 6 to 8 hour days. The rest of the crew works a lot more. On the other Style show I did, I worked four days that were usually 12 to 16 hours.

When someone gets mad or rude, it’s easy to understand where they’re coming from. This is a stressful situation for them and they’re bound to get a little freaked out. Any time it’s happened, they’ve come back and sincerely apologized. But there’s  really never a need to. We get it.

I don’t know whether or not I’ll be hosting again. I appreciate being missed! I promise I’ll have other stuff coming up. But don’t rush me! I love being with G-Man!! 😉

Forgive me as I am clueless on “Clean House”. Please do explain? Are you not a real mom married to a dude from Eugene? Who would make up Eugene,Oregon of all places?

I am indeed a real mom, married to a real dude from Eugene. I am sometimes on TV playing characters, and other times on TV playing myself. Either way, someone is dressing me and putting on my makeup and doing my hair. But it doesn’t make me any less REAL, damn it! It just makes me cuter.

Do the guys not wear their own clothes either on Clean House?

Without revealing too much, I’ll say this: They are not wearing their own clothes. One of them has a LOT of say in what he does wear, and is very specific right down to the buttons. And he always has on magnificent shoes. The other one pretty much just puts on what’s handed to him, as long as he can button the shirt over his Fabio-esque chest. Guess who’s who.

Keep the questions coming! I love it!

12 Oct 2010

My Career?

14 Comments Career

I want to share with you a story about what it’s like to be me in this glamorous town of Hollywood.

About 12 years ago, I started working professionally, and I’ve been fortunate enough to make my living at it ever since. However, I’ve probably been turned down for 100 jobs, for every one job I’ve gotten. It’s a rough road, this road I’ve chosen. And to be frank… I’m tired of it.

Let’s back up a step, shall we? I’m a dork. I’m not one of those adorable dorks who’s really pretty and tall and perfect and just says she’s a dork because she likes to read non-fiction and knows about Star Wars. I’m one of those dorky dorks who was never popular in high school and always felt a step behind everyone in everything I did.  I still do.  I was lucky enough to know at a very young age what I wanted to be, but I never felt I was as good as it as other people. Then I discovered comedy and I felt as good as I needed to be, so I stayed there. And 15 years later I started working.

My first major role was on Seinfeld and it was amazing and terrifying and magical. My friends threw a huge party when it aired, and I thought, “This is the beginning”. It wasn’t. I waited tables a bit longer and then I booked MadTV as a series regular. This was another exercise in me feeling “Less Than” everyone else. I was clearly good enough to be there, but I didn’t ever really fit in. I was on the outside, watching everyone else get laughs and fame. I took what little scraps I was given and was let go after a season. It sounds like I’m whining, and I am a little bit, but I want to make it clear that part of it is my own fault. I’m really bad at playing the games you have to play to get somewhere in this business. I always have been.

Time went by and I booked a lot of guest star parts, then I began getting hosting work. But intermixed with all those jobs were about 100 or 1000 auditions that went “really well”, but I just wasn’t “right for the part”. No one ever gets a straight answer on why they aren’t right for a part. So you start thinking things like, “I must be really ugly”, or fat or bad or not funny or too short or too tall or badly dressed or… JUST AWFUL AT EVERY FUCKING THING I DO. It’s nearly impossible to not get a complex unless you just believe in your abilities and looks so much that nothing can ever get you down.  I’ve never met one of these people. So years of rejection can really mess a person up.  And even though it seemed like I was working a ton, it was hard to not focus on all the work I WASN’T getting. Plus, to be frank, I wasn’t getting really high-paying work.  I got close. But I never booked that stuff. I’d “test” for sit-com leads, but never get them. Something wasn’t clicking. Read more